I'm not sure how I ended up there, but I was at a strip club run
by a motorcycle club. I watched the girls dance through the windows from
a distance and there's a sense of not being attached to anything. I don't
have a job or bills to pay or anywhere anyone expects me to be. I'm
simply wandering wherever the road and my feet take me. I watch the women
through the windows of a place that I think may have been a church at one point,
but is now a strip club. I watch the way the m
en seem to worship the
women spinning on the poles and I want to be like them so I go inside. I
talk to the boss. I tell him I'm hungry and he feeds me. He asks me
where I live and I tell him I don't live anywhere and that I want to dance
around the poles like those women do so he has me strip down to my underwear
and turn around for me. There are bruises on my back and on my thighs and
he says I can't dance with the other girls until those are gone, but I can work
as a waitress and they will give me food and a place to sleep and later I can
dance with the other girls if I still want too. I agree, it’s not as if
I'm doing anything else.
Time passes and I do what’s
expected of me. I don't have any concept of time or shifts. I just work
until I’m told its time to stop. The
bikers seem to feel sorry for me, but I don't know why. I have no desire
to be anywhere else or do anything else and I'm not worried about the past or
the future. I exist only in the present. It’s a liberating
feeling.
One of the bikers takes an interest
in me. He's not like the others, but I can't really put my finger on hat
that is. He has a neat black car with neon lights on it and he likes to
take me driving in it.
One night the president of the club
does something stupid to the wrong person and is murdered. A short time
later the strip club in burned to the ground by whomever it was he pissed off.
I'm standing outside of it looking at what’s left and the man with the
black car walks up to me and says "Well, I’m done here, are you going to
come with me?"
I go with him for no particular
reason. I like being with him, but I don't make a conscious decision to
actually leave with him, I just kind of go.
He turns out to be a lot more
different than I originally thought he was. His car can crash and fly
into a whole bunch of little pieces and then go back together again. He
has a place to live that you can't see until you step into it. It looks a
lot like an RV on the inside.
There are other women with us.
Some of them came from the strip club and some came from other places.
The women like to put on shows and come up with something they can do
going from town to town. I'm not a part of the show, but I watch.
The man and I are going to leave the group of women in his black car and
let them have the RV we've been traveling in. I don't know where were
going and I don't really care, I'm just letting myself be led until I feel like
it’s time to not be led, and then I'll leave this person, but I don't have any
sense of when that might be. Then I woke up.
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